and the truth is.....i miss you

My life hass been so good recently and all due to this one man.Whom i fell in love with. I spent time in dublin with him awhile back and last week. I returned this morning in floods of tears. I was happy but now im sad.Why oh why does something shit happen every time im close to being a tad bit happy. He leaves in 2 weeks to go to africa and its gonna be so fucking hard for me no matter how hard i destract myself.

I wake up every moring just asking myself how long is left till he forgets about me. I seem to be so scared that when he goes to niarobi that he forget about me. Im sitting here crying for the third time in 24 hours over this.It sucks too fucking much and i just ask why does it have to happen. My first proper love is going away and today was the last time ill see him for three months!!!!!

This man means the world to me. Its so hard to describe him to people. The minute i met him 3 weeks ago i knew that i was safe with him. I never felt uncomfortable.
He keeps on saying how much things will change when i go to cork and they will but no one, and i mean no one will be like him!

He went away for an hour on wednesday and left me alone in his place and i felt so lonely!And right now i sit here, in a puddle of tears, alone wishing i was him and i just cant take it anymore!I just want to hold him and hug him and never let go!For the first time in 4 years i find something and its so fucking shit that i cant have this moment with him. 4 days just aint fucking long enough!
I just have to say to myself how lucky i am to meet him. He is the nicest, most giving and caring man in the world!A person i think everyone should meet.....but i aint sharing!:P

Im off now to eat and light these three little candles he gave me to remember him and his place in dublin.